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Geneticist: Rush Limbaugh is a pigBy Dr. Frank N. Stein
“It shows in his physicality -- the pinkish flesh, beady eyes, flabby jowls, thick torso and stubby legs,” adds
“The odd thing is that he also has personality traits that have been unfairly attributed to pigs, such as selfishness, gluttony, stubbornness and misogyny, along with an affinity for figuratively wallowing in the mud.”
As this rare photo of Limbaugh as a 14-year-old shows, he actually had a pig-like snout as a youth.
“Unfortunately for Limbaugh, sometimes you are what your mother eats,” says
“In any case, I’m sure she never would have had the baby if she’d known what a monstrosity it was destined to be.”
Another expert notes that young Limbaugh’s porcine proboscis probably led to deep psychological scars.
“I’ve seen some pretty bad noses, but this one takes the cake,” observes Dr. James Skinner, a top cosmetic surgeon who has not treated Limbaugh but examined our photo. “Being saddled with a deformity like this at a young age would no doubt instill in the person a deep hatred for anyone normal.”
It’s believed that Limbaugh’s parents were too poor to pay for a nose job, but he eventually got one through Medicaid.
“You’d think he’d be thankful for entitlement programs to help the poor after that, but unlike cows, horses and goats, pigs are notoriously hypocritical creatures,” notes livestock psychologist Dr. Cole MacDonald. “So Limbaugh’s railing against all forms of government assistance kind of fits the mold.”
Despite the mountain of evidence,
“My pigs have much better manners than Rush,” Slopp tells the Cosmic Chronicle. ”And besides that, they’re all socialists!”
For more Cosmic Chronicle scoops, check out the Archive
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