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Online matchmaker taps alien marketBy
The site, called aHarmony, offers relationship services to the thousands of extraterrestrials clandestinely living on Earth, most of them involved with research projects and/or plots to take over the planet.
“There are a lot of unattached aliens living amongst us, and it’s exceedingly hard for them to connect,” says eHarmony founder Dr. Neil Clark Warren.
“One look at a client’s ANUS is all it takes for us to find a perfect match,” crows
Like eHarmony, aHarmony requires participants to fill out a questionnaire to determine compatibility.
Sample questions include:
I have: a) brown eyes; b) blue eyes; c) green eyes; d) black eyes; e) three eyes
Finding a partner of the same species is: a) imperative; b) very important; c) important; d) not important; e) irrelevant so long as I can mate with it
My ideal partner has: a) beauty; b) intelligence; c) personality; d) super powers; e) tentacles.
Since the aliens must remain undetected while on Earth, security is also a vital issue.
“Imagine what would happen if the Men in Black could hack our system,” says
“As you may imagine, an alien in love would be less likely to wreak havoc on Earth than a sexually frustrated one.
“So if you’re an alien looking for love, submit your ANUS to us and you’ll soon be on your way to a romance that’s truly out of this world!”
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